I wondered if this was a helpful time to write a blog about loss, being at the tail end of our sunny Texas summer and months away from the holidays. However, I quickly remembered the heart of the message I want to convey in this piece; that being human is an inherently vulnerable experience, and loss is an inevitable part of being alive, no matter the season.
The ability and willingness to open ourselves to grief, as ironic as it might seem, is essential to living a full, enriched, meaningful life. The deeper and fuller we are able to feel our grief, the deeper and fuller we open ourselves to the gratitude, love, joy, awe, and peace available to us in this life.
The sweet isn’t as sweet without the sour, as the saying goes. Decades of research have supported the ancient, intuitive truth behind those words. However, our western culture is obsessed with self-sufficiency, “staying positive,” “bouncing back,” and “moving on.” And depending on the kinds of messages we received about our feelings within our families, grief may seem, consciously or unconsciously, dangerous, shameful, or simply unbearable to feel. All of this in tandem with grief’s innate intensity, it’s no wonder we have such a tendency to run from grief.
None of us are free from having to live with loss, however, and the problem with running away from our feelings is that it doesn’t make them go away. The more we defend against them, the more we shut ourselves off from our authenticity, vitality, and fullness.
This is to say nothing of the sanctity of grief. To know grief is to know life on a profound level.
To bravely touch this sacred ground, it may be comforting to remember these truths about grief:
- Grief is a healthy, adaptive emotion.
- Grief is messy.
- Our grief falls in proportion to how much we loved.
- Loss comes in all forms.
- Loss is complex.
- It’s healthy and strong to need support for your grief.
- Grief originates from what has mattered to us, and it returns us to that place as well.
If you are in the midst of grief, and feel like you would like some support, to explore it, or process through it, you are welcome to contact us. We are here for you.
-Eva Lorini
