Living with Loss – Value of Grief

Grief is a natural human emotion because death and loss happen. Grieving is a long process that involves crossing many stages. Coming to terms with your loss or living with loss requires support and healing. It is true that after a huge loss, life may never be the same again. However, shutting down your feelings or avoiding them altogether will only worsen things. Seeking the support of a licensed therapist can help you navigate through grief at your own pace and cope with the pain.

Why Is Grief Important To Emotional Health?

As the saying goes, “Grief is the price we pay for love”, and that price is the hardest to pay. Grief is a natural response to losing someone or something you loved. Grieving is important because it enables us to process the loss and ultimately heal. It is also an indicator of our emotional depth and heightened sensitivity If you avoid the grieving process by masking it or ignoring your messy emotions, you may trigger deeper issues.

The American Psychological Association (APA) explored the psychological impact of grief in an interview with Mary-Frances O’Connor, Associate Professor of Clinical Psychology and Psychiatry at the University of Arizona. According to the findings, prolonged or unresolved grief can lead to immune system disruption, depression, suicidal thoughts, and an increased risk of physical illness. But every cloud has a silver lining. Managing and processing grief in a healthier manner is possible.

The famous Swiss American psychiatrist, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, described the 5 stages of grief in her book, “On Death and Dying”. The stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. 

Although these stages are not always linear and not everyone experiences each stage, they do provide a framework for understanding the process of grief.

Let’s have a look at how these stages would feel:

• Denial: “This isn’t real. It can’t be happening to me.”
• Anger: “Why did this happen? It must be someone’s fault.”
• Bargaining: “I could have prevented it if I had done this differently.”
• Depression: “I am too depressed to do anything.”
• Acceptance: “This has happened, and I can’t do anything about it now. I should move on.”

If you are feeling any of the above after experiencing a loss, you should know that it’s natural and you’re on the path to healing. 

What Makes Grief Difficult in Modern Culture?

Independence is overly celebrated in modern society. Expressing or discussing your feelings openly is often perceived as a sign of vulnerability and immaturity. As a result, people put on a pretense of being strong. In doing so, they often deprive themselves of healing from a loss. This can be particularly daunting for teens. During the teenage years, peer pressure is always a real concern. They don’t want to project themselves as “weak.” 

Fortunately, teen therapy is available for you at Therapy Austin. 

A teen therapist understands the unique challenges that teenagers face. With one-on-one meetings, teens can have a safe space where they can express their feelings and resolve their issues.

No matter what your age or situation is, seeking support from professionals can help you come out of your shell and process grief without guilt or shame.

In this fast-paced world, processing grief is even more crucial for your safety and well-being. If you or anyone you know is struggling with grief, it’s never too late to start therapy. 

How Can You Recognize Healthy Grieving?

One of the most significant signs of healthy grieving is acknowledging your emotional state. Below are some ways you can stay assured that you’re on the right track:

• Be easy on yourself for feeling sad, angry, depressed, or even relieved.
• Acceptance of the pain and the fact that the loss has happened, and there’s nothing you could do in the world to prevent it.
• Another aspect of healthy grieving is the fact that it is a long process, and you can’t rush it, but that’s completely okay. 
• Allow yourself to find moments of joy, hope, and positivity, and believe that it is also a part of your healthy coping mechanism. 

How Can You Tell If You Are Suffering From Grief vs. Depression?

It is not uncommon for people to mistake grief for depression, but the two are entirely different.

Grief is a natural emotional response to loss, while depression is a persistent mood disorder. One way to identify if you are suffering from grief vs depression is how often or how persistent your sadness is, and what other feelings or symptoms you may be experiencing at the same time.

Grief is typically characterized by fluctuating sadness: a feeling of loss that comes in waves, with periods of intense sadness, anger, or denial, followed by periods of calm or even positive memories. While the grieving process can be long and difficult, it is typically not indefinite. Most people adapt over 6 months to a year. While grief can be painful, it is usually not debilitating and does not typically lead to self-destructive thoughts or behaviors. 

By contrast, depression is marked by a persistent low mood that lasts longer. Depression may be chronic, with negative feelings that were there even before the recent loss. With depression, you may also feel a loss of interest, behavior changes like over- or under-eating, loss of sleep, low self-esteem, and social isolation or withdrawal. Under severe depression, depression may also lead to self-loathing, substance abuse, addiction, self-harm, or suicidal thoughts.

Some people may experience a type of grief called “complicated grief,” which can involve persistent symptoms of grief that may resemble depression. In some cases, bereavement can trigger or exacerbate an existing or underlying depressive disorder. 

What Types of Loss Can Trigger Grief?

It’s not always easy to pinpoint the origin of your emotions, especially when it’s grief. To understand it better, you must also be aware of the types of loss that can trigger grief.

Breakups. There is nothing more devastating than a failed relationship. A breakup can take a huge toll on your mental state. When you lose someone you trusted, cherished, and loved with all your heart, it certainly feels like the end of the world.

Life Changes. Moving to a new city, switching jobs, or changing homes are changes in your routine. Dramatic changes like these can lead to uncertainty, and this in turn can lead to feelings of doubt and feeling like you’ve lost the things that are familiar and comfortable to you.  

Death Of Loved Ones. The death of a loved one is the most common source of grief. Even though death is inevitable, losing a loved one to death is never easy. 

Losing Health Or Mobility. Losing your health due to a chronic illness or losing mobility due to an injury or an accident can wreak havoc on your mind. 

Some of the above may require collective healing, as the tragedies mentioned can also affect families. Family therapy is a great way for families and loved ones to process grief with support. 

How Can Therapy Help You Live with Loss?

Therapy is a structured, constructive, and safe way to heal from the agony of loss. As part of their professional training and qualification, therapists validate grief without judgment or negativity. 

While working with a therapist, you can feel vulnerable and show it rather than suppressing it. Navigate grief and sorrow with professional grief and loss counseling in Austin.

You can try both group and individual therapy to see which one works better for you. In individual sessions, people often discover memories that help them cope with their suffering. Group therapy allows you to connect with people who have experienced similar losses and are working to rebuild their lives. 

When Should You Seek Support for Grief?

Prolonged grief can start disrupting your life in more than one way. You may start to lose your focus at work, experience suicidal thoughts, suffer from insomnia, or make excuses to avoid spending time with your friends. That is the time when you should start looking for help and support. 

If you’re seeking grief counseling in Austin, our licensed therapists are here to help. Our team at Therapy Austin offers compassionate, professional support for every stage of grief. To book an appointment, get in touch with us today!